Same Old, Same Old: Is It Possible to Get Bored of Sex?
August 26, 2020
If you’ve been in a few relationships, you know the drill. Sometimes, it can just turn into the same old, same old. Is it possible to get bored of sex? This is definitely a valid question, and examining it will save you a lot of stress and worry. So check out our breakdown of sexual boredom! We’ll discuss why sex gets boring for men and women, and we’ll also reveal some tips that can cure sexual boredom.
Does Sexual Boredom Happen?
Everyone knows that too much of a good thing can actually turn bad. Just consider peanut butter and chocolate! You can easily get bored of anything. That is especially true for sex in long-term relationships.
Fortunately, some of the reasons why sexual boredom happens may not reflect the state of your relationship. In fact, people’s daily lives and their work can take a toll on their mental state.
However, couples can be responsible for their sexual boredom if their stance changes from proactive to reactive. That is, your sex life and bedroom activities could get boring if you rely too much on spontaneity. While there’s always a place for wild and spontaneous sex, you can eliminate boredom if you stop waiting for sex to happen. When it gets stale and dull, you could find yourself doing the same things repeatedly. That usually happens if you run out of ideas or never discuss sex with your partner. Still, relationships are complex, and the question of will you get bored of sex actually has many answers.
Reasons Why Men Get Bored of the Sex Act
Men have high sex drives, and that can make them think about sex all the time. However, there’s always a chance that their libido could drop. This could influence their demeanor and sexual outlook.
Many factors can impact the male sex drive. That includes a lack of exercise or sleep, work-related stress, and especially depression. If sex becomes a chore or the bedroom activities become too repetitive, men could grow tired of sex. Also, some causes of low libido can lead to personal issues like insecurity and low self-esteem. They can also impact a man’s performance.
However, libido isn’t the only culprit. Men are always looking for enthusiasm and initiative. If this is missing from a relationship, guys could feel like their partner isn’t attracted to them.
Most of the time, men are the ones who have to initiate sex, and they can get bored with that. Sometimes, this can be a sign of something that’s missing in a relationship. Men could feel discontent and unhappy, especially if both partners stop being affectionate and intimate with each other. The lack of physical affection, like cuddling and kissing, can impact a couple’s emotional connection. This could lead to inactive sex life. Additionally, sexual preferences are another key factor. Male sexual desires can change over time. The absence of experimentation is one of the biggest causes of male sexual boredom.
Why Women Get Bored of Sex
Surprisingly, recent studies have shown that women can actually become disinterested much quicker than men. Some findings indicate that women’s libidos are changing. The intensity of their arousal and desire is quite similar to men. This goes against past beliefs, but science shows that women can quickly lose interest in sex due to habit. Sex therapists used to think that men are more likely to become disinterested in long-term partnerships and marriages. However, it seems that variety, adventure, and novelty could impact a woman’s sexual desires much more.
In fact, married couples will often have matched libidos at the beginning. Yet, findings have shown that the female libido can drop much quicker. That can happen in a span of one to two years. One of the reasons for that could be that women are built to be multi-orgasmic. The female body craves pleasure and excitement much differently compared to men and with greater intensity. For women, intimacy, foreplay, experimentation, and frequent orgasms are all things that can alleviate sexual boredom.
Moreover, there are a few other factors. Most of the reasons that apply to men can also impact women. That includes a lack of intimacy, emotional support, and self-confidence. Stress, career, and busy daily life are also some of the culprits.
Signs That Partner Is Experiencing Sexual Boredom
As stated, relationships are very intricate. Your partner could be experiencing sexual boredom for many other reasons. They might have nothing to do with what we’ve mentioned earlier on. Each relationship is personal, and it’s tough to follow universal advice. Yet, you can use some pointers to see how your partner is feeling.
Firstly, sex should be relaxing and sensual. If your partner doesn’t make an effort in bed to connect with you, that could be a big red flag. Some things to look for are if your partner always sticks with the same position or ignores foreplay. This could mean that they just want to get it over with quickly.
Additionally, if your partner doesn’t respond when you try to pique their interest, it could hint towards sexual boredom. If you, for example, offer oral sex, and your partner refuses, they are turning down their own pleasure. That, plus all of the previous reasons, could mean that your partner has stopped valuing sex. Also, a common indicator for men is whether or not they put in the effort to bring their partner to orgasm. And of course, for men and women, a complete absence of sex is the biggest sign. Luckily, it may not always point to a relationship that no longer works.
What You Can Do to Pick Things Up
You could use sexual boredom as an opportunity to correct some of the issues in your relationship. It can actually give you a chance to hone in on what’s really happening in your bond or with your partner.
You could move things forward by leaving the bedroom and discussing your sex life with your partner. Some couples who notice that their bedroom activities are changing can even arrange a plan and stick to it. Remember that planning will not turn sex into a chore. It will make sex feel fresh and exciting again.
What’s more, you could be stuck in a rut because you’ve allowed yourself to get into it. So never allow sex to become boring. This is a great and fairly obvious tip for when sex with a partner becomes boring. Remember that it offers you nearly limitless possibilities. Sex is so vast that you could spend a lifetime experimenting. You could try hundreds of different acts and barely even scratch the surface. However, if you stop exploring, it could become repetitive.
So to exit that rut, try to discuss your fantasies, passions, and preferences with your partner. Talking about it will go a long way. It can make all the difference because you and your partner may not even know why sex has become stale. It may simply be a big misunderstanding or only a small issue that you can fix easily.
It’s Not You, It’s Me
Even the strongest champions of sex have their ups and downs. If you never address your sex life and talk to your partner about it, you may never know the real reasons why your passions have dwindled. In some cases, it could simply be due to personal issues. You may not be the problem. A run of poor bedroom experiences could mean that your partner is dealing with some issues. Before you talk about it, remember that sex isn’t everything. You or your partner may be experiencing other issues individually, and those problems could make you disinterested. That could only be temporary, and your sex life could improve with time.
On the other hand, couples that experience sexual boredom may just need a refresher. You could try to broaden your limits. It’s always a good idea to experiment with new positions or try kinks like roleplay. Roleplay could allow you to have naughty sex from a different perspective, and it could jump-start your sex life again. Additionally, you could invest in some sex toys to expand your partner’s pleasure and experiment with physical sensations that you’ve never felt before.
The Bottom Line
Sex is something that most of us live for, but we often forget that it can get extremely complicated. If you’ve noticed some degree of sexual boredom in your relationship, follow our tips, and there’s a big chance that your sex life will improve. Good luck!