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How to Effectively Initiate Sex With Your Partner

November 6, 2019

If you’re in a new or long-term relationship, it can sometimes be difficult to know how to initiate sex with your partner effectively. It’s easy to make mistakes and create an awkward situation. Luckily, you can follow some simple sex advice that we’ve revealed in this article to help you break the ice.

Why Initiate Sex?

While sex is hot and exciting, it can also be incredibly complicated. Many people can feel embarrassed or awkward when it comes to initiating it. Successful sex requires confidence, consent, direction, communication, and many other factors. Yet, it’s incredibly easy to make mistakes.

If unsuccessful, you could come off as confusing, passive, or even pushy. In most cases, simply asking for sex or grabbing your partner will not work. It can create an embarrassing counter effect or worse. Great sex requires a combination of seduction, romance, and arousal. That’s why it’s important to focus on why and how you initiate it.

Fortunately, when you learn that seduction and arousal are just as important as sex itself, you will be able to break the ice with great success. That applies to dating as well as long-term relationships.

Therefore, it’s essential to focus on flirting and arousal. This can be as simple as paying attention to your partner’s needs and observing their reactions. If you get the ball rolling correctly, you will also spark your partner’s desire and improve your sex life long-term.

Asking Your Partner How to Correctly Initiate Sex

With any relationship, both partners have to be aware of their intentions. Regardless of if you’re looking for a hookup or are in a long-term bond, communication will be essential. Quite often, being direct can be highly effective. If you haven’t identified your partner’s desires, you can simply ask them. With open communication, you’ll be able to find out about the things that arouse them the most. This is also effective for long-term relationships.

As always, you should remember that all people are different and everyone has their own preferences. Some people will enjoy verbal invitations, while others will prefer non-verbal cues. If you don’t know your partner’s desires, you should discuss them before initiating sex. Both of you should talk about how you prefer to be seduced and discuss what you like or dislike. That type of communication will eliminate any misunderstandings, and it will allow you to get on the same page.


Not everyone is ready to talk about sex and their preferences from the get-go. For new relationships, such discussions could feel cold or sterile. Flirting and dirty talk could be a better way to spark arousal. It can increase sexual tension and fuel your partner’s imagination. Know how to build sexual tension.

If you want to initiate sex verbally, remember that some people could enjoy a direct approach, while others will prefer something a bit more subtle. Either way, communication will serve as a type of exciting foreplay.

For new relationships, it’s a good idea to try a few statements like “I’ve been thinking about kissing you all night” or “I love flirting with you.” They will test your partner’s reaction and give you an opportunity to express your intentions. What’s more, these statements will also make your partner feel desired. In long-term bonds, verbal communication can rekindle couples’ sex lives. If sex has become boring or stale for you, you can try various flirting or dirty talk techniques to rekindle the fire.


Many people also consider touching as an open invitation to sex. Body language and physical contact will allow you to find out whether your partner is in the mood for sex. During flirting, you can try various things like a gentle kiss or hug, eye contact, and various forms of teasing. If your partner plays along, it could be a sign that they are open to sex.

However, physical contact could sometimes create misunderstandings. Even if your partner responds to your touch, you should ask additional questions or make flirty statements to find out if they are comfortable with your initiating sex.

Planning Ahead

A lot of married couples have busy schedules. If you can’t seem to find the time for sex or if you want to try new things and accomplish some new goals, it may be a good idea to have a schedule.

Simply use a calendar and set the dates with your spouse. While this seems like it will eliminate spontaneity and turn sex into a chore, it can provide a unique kind of anticipation. If both partners are constantly tired and not in the mood, having a set date and sticking to it will provide something to look forward to. If this feels too sterile, you can communicate and discuss the activities that you want to try with your partner.

Of course, if you are going on a new date, there will be no way of directly planning for sex. However, you can consider some of the approaches we’ve covered earlier.

Be Creative

Once you’ve gotten familiar with your partner’s desires and preferences, you’ll get a better understanding of how to initiate sex. Just remember that the game doesn’t end if your partner consents to sex. You have to be responsive to them and openly share your likes and dislikes.

Keep in mind that sex is only the beginning. You’ll have to focus on keeping it fresh during foreplay and intercourse. You can try all sorts of flirting techniques, dirty talk, and various sexual activities. Just remember to respect your partner’s boundaries.

If you discuss and understand your partner’s needs, you’ll be able to eliminate guesswork and make sex more fun. What’s more, there are plenty of other techniques to try. You could revitalize your relationship with new sex positions, flirty texting, sex toys, roleplay, and anything else that feels good. You could also try this for new relationships as long as you understand your partner’s needs.

All in all, bear in mind that there is no universal approach or sex advice for men and women. Initiating sex will require you to be mindful of your partner and focus on how they respond to you. You will also need to express confidence and state your intentions clearly through verbal as well as non-verbal cues.

Final Thoughts

Sex and relationships are incredibly intimate, and it’s nearly impossible to use a one-size-fits-all approach. Nevertheless, some of the things we’ve covered today will set you on the right track. Good luck!

Author: beautifulleopard215